Summer/Grief

Memento mori of my Totoro

Spring ended with the loss of our Totoro at age four casting a long shadow over summer months where the world was already falling apart. We left the emergency vet with an empty carrier and a scrawled note explaining what happened.

Gouache, horror and sadness

I had just purchased gouache as I suddenly had the need to break the peace of the watercolour I was working on. A study of the magic and fantasy in decay imploded as images from the destruction of Gaza spread across the world. The innocence of finding beauty in the ruin was no longer tenable. A drawing of a figure dreaming became an unfolding horror as the world sleeps on massive destruction.

The opacity of gouache then lent itself to colouring my grief, allowing me to paint my self portrait of mourning. Remembering what it was to hold my Totoro

Despite it all…

The garden continued growing, it kept up a holding pattern of unrelenting growth, abundance and blooms despite absolutly minimal input. Summer saw masses of tomatoes, cucumbers, basil, roses, cosmos, scabiosa and two crookneck pumpkins.